umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
