On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
