I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
