is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
