stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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