I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
