Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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