flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
