she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I have aggressive nipples.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
