Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
