In America we eat man semen.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize