He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
