she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
