how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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