is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
