if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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