what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize