Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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