Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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