I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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