I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
