dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
