I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
