Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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