Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
A bitchslap is in order.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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