I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
