We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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