How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
