it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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