im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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