lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize