you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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