That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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