Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
