did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
