kristin has been a bad kristin
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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