you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
