It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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