Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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