If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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