remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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