I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
