I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
