ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
