when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
