went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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