butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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