u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize