Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
