Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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