Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Boobs speak an international language.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
