I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
