it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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