The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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