Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
People in love make me want to vomit
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
