im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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