Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
