It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
