I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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