We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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