belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
