who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
