had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize