Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
