I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
