my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Let's paint friendship bongs
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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