i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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