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I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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