If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
