If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
