Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize