And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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