I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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