come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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