just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
